✗
Every asset. One cat.
The wizard gear went on. The tie went on. The shoes went on. The 10 tag went on. Somebody found a dog collar and that went on too. Nobody stopped the belt.
manufacturing defect Solana · Bootleg Factory · Quality Control: absent
Printed wrong. Shipped anyway.
The factory tried to make the ultimate meme. It put the wizard hat, the presidential tie, the speed shoes, the 10 tag and the INU dog collar on the same cat. Legal approved absolutely nothing. They shipped it anyway.
Cease & desist letters ignored:
0
wizard hat ✗
INU collar ✗
100% bootleg
/ incident report 0009
Something went wrong.
The bootleg factory has produced one billion knock-offs without a single approval. Tuesday's run was different. Tuesday's run was worse.
§
Legal approved nothing.
The legal department received forty-one licensing requests that morning. It denied forty-one licensing requests that morning. Production had already finished by lunch.
compliance▲
Shipped anyway.
No franchise owns him. No universe claims him. No lawyer will admit to having seen the file. He is out there now, in a yellow backpack, with a misprinted certificate and no plans.
distribution
LIVE FROM THE FACTORY FLOOR — press #3 has been jammed since 2019
/ parts manifest
Nothing here is licensed.
Full bill of materials for unit 0009. Hover a line to see what legal thought about it.
- 01 Wizard hat, blue, star-print sourced: "a school, somewhere" NOT APPROVED Legal note: “absolutely not.”
- 02 Presidential tie, oversized sourced: campaign surplus NOT APPROVED Legal note: “please stop calling.”
- 03 Speed shoes, blue, lightning sourced: a blue thing that runs fast NOT APPROVED Legal note: “that's a whole franchise.”
- 04 The 10 tag, metal, on a chain sourced: unclear, possibly a wallet NOT APPROVED Legal note: “why is it a ten.”
- 05 INU collar, red, dog-grade sourced: the wrong animal entirely NOT APPROVED Legal note: “he is a cat. HE IS A CAT.”
- 06 Certificate of authenticity sourced: printed here, 4 mm off-register NOT APPROVED Legal note: “it's just a red circle.”
/ certified activity
Work the legal desk.
The only utility we will ever ship. Requests come in. You deny them. Nothing changes. It's very cathartic.
Requests denied
0
stamp a document →
LEGAL DEPT.
01
If nobody signed it, nobody can un-sign it.
- 0 / 0 TaxBuy and sell free
- LP BurntLiquidity locked forever
- Mint RevokedSupply can't be inflated
- 100% CommunityNo team allocation
/ live market
The only approved document.
Straight from DexScreener. Unedited, unlicensed, unbelievably green (hopefully).
§
Follow on X
Chart goes live at launch
The moment the contract drops, this panel fills with a real DexScreener chart. Follow on X so you don't miss the batch.
Follow on X
/ how to buy
Four steps. No paperwork.
If you've bought anything on Solana before, you already know all of this.
Get a wallet
Install Phantom on your browser or phone. Write the seed phrase on paper — real paper, not the notes app.
Fund with SOL
Buy SOL anywhere and send it over. Leave a little spare so the network fees don't get denied.
Swap for $UNAUTH
Open pump.fun, paste the official contract address from this page — only this page — and swap.
Become unauthorized
Put on a hat that isn't yours. Ignore the letter. You're part of batch 0009 now, legally speaking — you aren't.
/ the paperwork
Nothing in the walls.
Standard pump.fun fair launch. Liquidity burned, mint authority revoked, no team bag, no tax on either side of the trade. The contract is the single most boring thing about this entire operation, and that is on purpose.
- NetworkSolana
- Ticker$UNAUTH
- Supply1,000,000,000
- Tax0% / 0%
- LiquidityBurned
- Mint authorityRevoked
- Licences held0
- SpeciesCat (disputed)
Printed wrong.
Shipped anyway.
No franchise owns him. No universe claims him. Nobody signed the paperwork.